a secret...

there is something
a thing i don't understand
yet i am affected by it
occupied, dominated...
the fact is that
i don't understand that fact
and i call it a secret...

i travel miles after miles
in search of that point
where i want to meet
all that i strive for
and all that i am affected by
and suddenly i realise
the point is lost
where that secret once began

what did i believe so far?
thousands of explorations
didn't help me to gather
those essential seeds 
of faiths, beliefs and affirmations
frustrated, angered and broken
the strive went on and on
to chase that haunting secret

it is now a nightmare
so dreadful and terrifying
disturbed by stripped bodies
troubled by weeping eyes
scarred of dry bones
yet, i don't give up
i am still going on
to define the undefinable
to bear the unbearable
striving to unravel that secret