a snowy-winter-day...

it’s now winter again

after spring, summer and autumn

the winter is back again

a season my dream was born

yes, it was a snowy-winter-day

white, white, and white…

how i wondered day and night

can be a dream delivered

outside of a dark closet?

a dusky dream with snowy-light?

everything is possible

in this snowy-white-land

cubby-holes turn into sea-shores

and temples into thug-bars

no wonder, if dream becomes decease

it was a snowy-winter-day

a day my dream was born

and it is now back again

a snowy-winter-day, a day my dream is torn

between living and leaving

birth was not an easy course

as a mother, i was aware of this

but birth in a snowy-white-day!?

i saw the snowstorm ruling out

the power of my child in a gloomy-dark-night

why lament the snowy-winter-day

why curse the deceased dream this way

what have i brought along to lament

what am i leaving behind to curse

just strive to survive another snowy-winter-day

a secret...

there is something
a thing i don't understand
yet i am affected by it
occupied, dominated...
the fact is that
i don't understand that fact
and i call it a secret...

i travel miles after miles
in search of that point
where i want to meet
all that i strive for
and all that i am affected by
and suddenly i realise
the point is lost
where that secret once began

what did i believe so far?
thousands of explorations
didn't help me to gather
those essential seeds 
of faiths, beliefs and affirmations
frustrated, angered and broken
the strive went on and on
to chase that haunting secret

it is now a nightmare
so dreadful and terrifying
disturbed by stripped bodies
troubled by weeping eyes
scarred of dry bones
yet, i don't give up
i am still going on
to define the undefinable
to bear the unbearable
striving to unravel that secret

we 'know' each other...

did we share a single roof

did we cross the same floor

did we possess a sole landscape

yet we are not separated from each other

we owe each other an explanation,

our feelings need a genuine narration,

yet it should not be deemed indecorous

and unduly familiar, because

we are close to each other

we try to sit down and

suddenly we spring up,

but only to sit down again,

though our agitation makes it hard to sit still,

yet we do it, for we are sensitive

not to hurt and trouble each other

how much do we know each other?

that doesn’t matter,

though it is very little, we are sure

that it is very good and dear,

there is beauty and nature,

all kinds of landscapes and feelings,

there we belong to each other

feelings of the forgotten space

thousands of feelings

twittering from the forgotten space

no clue of the source

not out of nowhere though

negotiating the unwanted gulf

provoking and procreating

one’s own eternal self

the space is disremembered

now, it's a question of the past

thrilled by the exhaustive

invitation to be in and with the present

feelings are yet flowing  

but now, in a new direction

disremembered space is something

that doesn’t extinguish from fostering

like the everlasting love

that one is afraid of

none of us have heard or spoken of

there is a timid gap between them

however hard they strive to overcome

the tranquility disappears beyond its

irrelevance and unimportance

more feelings more pain

within a dictionary meaning

of pleasure and passion

perhaps one melts in other’s arms

miles are travelled not always with hope

fear and unease followed the path

certainly the path was blurred

but not the feelings

for they are rooted in that forgotten space

that's all I have to say...

that's all I have to say

when you scream staring at my eyes

"don't you want to flourish?"

a big laughter breaking a long silence!

that's all I have to say

"don't you want to flourish?"

what a funny thought on earth it is!

bothered of my silence

the gaze finds its extreme

troubled of your very existence

"do you want to perish?"

fountain of love dropping down the wet eyes,

flowing through your shivering lips,

helpless, helpless...

yet, that's all I have to say

"neither I want to flourish,

nor I love to perish

I only wish to cherish"

(struggling to find words)

'with you I want to cherish

the sweet memories of our paradise'

with all my heart I wish,

my sweet love, with you to cherish

those wonderful memories

you and I, the makers

of our own universe...

yes, that's all I have to say

ಎಲ್ಲ ಬಲ್ಲವಳು...

ಎಲ್ಲಾ ನಡೆದಿದ್ದೂ ಅಲ್ಲಿಯೇ, ಆ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ

ಎಲ್ಲ ಬಲ್ಲವಳು ಅವಳೊಬ್ಬಳೇ, ಆ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಹುಡುಗಿ
ಅಲ್ಲೇ ನಿಂತಿದ್ದು, ಕಣ್ಣೆದುರೇ ಕಂಡಳಲ್ಲಾ
ಆ ರಾಕ್ಷಸರ ಅಟ್ಟಹಾಸ...
ಒಂದು ನಿಮಿಷ...! ಅಲ್ಲಿದ್ದವಳು ಇವಳೊಬ್ಬಳೇನಲ್ಲ!
ಕಣ್ಣಿದ್ದೂ ಕುರುಡಾದ ಹೇಡಿ ಜೀವಗಳು ಅವೆಷ್ಟೋ!

ಎಲ್ಲ ಬಲ್ಲವಳು ನಾನು ಮಾತ್ರ...
ಬಾವಿಯ ನೀರು ಬತ್ತಿದ್ದು, ದಾಹ ಇಂಗದೇ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿದ್ದು,
ಸಮಜಾಯಿಷಿಯ ಹಲವು ಯೋಚನೆಗಳು ಹುಟ್ಟಿದ್ದು,
ಮತ್ತವು ಗಳಿಗೆಗೊಮ್ಮೆ ಬದಲಾದದ್ದು, ಕಡೆಗೊಮ್ಮೆ
ಹುಚ್ಚು ಧೈರ್ಯ ಗರಿಗೆದರಿ ನಾಟ್ಯವಾಡಿದ್ದು...
ನನಗೆ ತಿಳಿಯದ ಸತ್ಯ ಮತ್ಯಾರು ತಿಳಿದಾರು!

ನೋವ ಉಂಡೂ ತೆಪ್ಪಗಿರಲು ನಮಗೇನು ತೆವಲೇ?
ನಾವೂ ಕಂಡು ಬೆರಗಾಗಿ, ಕೋಪಗೊಂಡು,
ಸಿಡಿದೇಳ ಹೊರಟಾಗ ಆ ಹುಡುಗಿ ಸುಮ್ಮನಿದ್ದಿದ್ದರೆ...
ಯುದ್ಧವಾಗಿ ಹೋಗುತ್ತಿತ್ತು, ಈ ನಮ್ಮ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ
ಎಲ್ಲ ಬಲ್ಲೆನೆಂದು ಆಕೆ ಮೂಗುತೂರದೇ ಇದ್ದಿದ್ದರೆ
ಏನಾಗಬೇಕಿತ್ತು? ರೋಧನವೇ? ಇಲ್ಲ ಮತ್ತೊಂದು ಕೊಲೆಯೇ?

ರೋಧಿಸುವ ಕಾರಣ ಅರಿತಿದ್ದಿದ್ದರೆ ಎಷ್ಟೋ ಒಳಿತಿತ್ತು
ನನ್ನಮ್ಮ ಅಂದು ಬೊಗಸೆ ನೀರಿಗಾಗಿ ಬೆತ್ತಲಾದಾಗ
ಲುಂಗಿ-ಹರುಕರ ಜೊಲ್ಲು ಉಣಲು ಪ್ರತಿಭಟಿಸಿದಾಗ
ಟಿ.ವಿ ಪರದೆಯಲಿ ಕಂಡಂತೆ ಕಾಣಲಿಲ್ಲವೇ ನೀವು?
ನ್ಯಾಯಾನ್ಯಾಯದ ಜಟಿಲ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗಳಿಗೆ ಉತ್ತರ ನನ್ನಲ್ಲಿದೆ
ಎಲ್ಲ ಬಲ್ಲವಳ ಕೇಳುವ ಧೈರ್ಯ ನಿಮಗೆಲ್ಲಿದೆ?

ಯುದ್ಧವಾಗಿದ್ದರೆ ಒಳಿತಿತ್ತು, ಆ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ
ಅಲ್ಲಿ ನಡೆದಿದ್ದು ಮಾರಣ ಹೋಮ, ಅಮಾಯಕಳ ಕಗ್ಗೊಲೆ
ಬಾವಿ ನೀರು ಬತ್ತಿದ್ದು ಅಮ್ಮನ ತಪ್ಪೇ

ಬೊಗಸೆ ನೀರಿಗಾಗಿ ರೋಧಿಸಿದ್ದು ತನ್ನ ತಪ್ಪೇ

ಉತ್ತರ ಸಿಗದೆ ಕೇಳುತ್ತಾಳೆ, ಎಲ್ಲ ಬಲ್ಲ ಆ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಹುಡುಗಿ
"ಅಮ್ಮ, ನೀನು ಹಟ್ಟಿಯೊಳಗೇ ಇದ್ದಿದ್ದರೆ... ?"